Let me begin this post with a question. How are you caring for yourself? What things are you doing to find joy; to keep hope alive? The other day I was running through the Arb, admiring the signs that spring is coming. I watched for the many species of birds that I heard, hoping to catch a glimpse of them as I jogged by. I felt the warmth of the March sun on my back despite the chill in the air and was reminded that seasons change. I looked at the underbrush’s green hue and the flowers blooming; signs of life. It was the best I had felt in days, maybe even weeks – and not just because of the endorphins that accompany exercise. That morning I felt as though my burdens were not quite so heavy, that my cares were not weighing me down as they had been. I went home and watched out my sliding door as the ducks swam on the pond right outside. I observed a pair of Canadian Geese – new neighbors coming to my pond to nest - and a pair of Common Goldeneye diving to the depths and then resurfacing. I listened to my cat playfully chatter at the birds in the feeder. I felt at peace. And not only did I feel at peace, but I felt joy.
Living in these uncertain times can be really challenging. We feel unsettled. We want answers. We want to know what is happening elsewhere so we can be prepared for what might come our way. We tune into the news almost every hour that we’re awake. We read article after article looking for some new development. The media is keeping a running loop of the state of things. In fact in some ways we are entranced by what they are putting before our eyes. It reminds me of how things were back in the Philadelphia area after 9/11/2001. Living less than 100 miles from NYC everyone in my area knew at least one person who died in the towers. The fear and anxiety in that region of the country was so thick, it would break the knife were you to try to cut it. Life was put on hold. We were all glued to our television screens watching time and again as planes flew into the north tower and then the towers collapsed. We relived those moments every waking minute of every day. We were stuck. I think that we are at risk of a similar thing happening right now. So let me ask a few questions. First, what are you getting from watching the constant stream of news media surrounding CoVID-19? We are getting something from it, because if we weren’t, we would stop watching. Chemically there is a lot happening in the brain when we continually flood it with things that make us fearful and anxious. Our bodies go on hyperdrive releasing powerful hormones and chemicals. While we are getting some information, I wonder, what are we losing – that is, what is the constant flood of media input taking from us? I can’t answer that for you, but for me, constantly watching or reading steals my joy. It makes me a prisoner to fear, and a slave to the media outlets. It even, in some ways, prevents me from believing in God’s goodness. It can be hard to believe in the power of the resurrection when surrounded by so much uncertainty, pain and hardship. The other day as I ran through the Arb, I broke the loop. Changing perspectives, even if for a short while, can be incredibly powerful. As someone with a deep connection to the created order, I found that just being outside in God’s creation enabled me to stop the tapes running through my mind; the tapes imprisoning me to my fear. For that one day, I was free. And what I learned from that experience was that I could take back my life and free myself of the feedback loop every day. I had agency. I could choose how much power I would give fear and anxiety. I could still be informed, in fact I need to be, but being informed doesn’t mean that I need to be slave to my television or internet. So now, when I don’t know what else to do, when I feel disconnected, when I feel alone, rather than turn on my television or going out to the internet to see what the latest development is, I go for a walk, or call a friend or family member, or pick up a book that I’ve been wanting to read. Sheltering in place for a month now, it sometimes feels as though time has stood still. It’s almost like we are waiting for things to go back to the way they were. The reality is, things won’t go back to exactly the way they were before all of this happened. They can’t. Things will be different because we are different. We may not realize it yet, but we have all changed. Life has changed. But the one thing that has not changed, the one thing that remains constant is God’s love for God’s creations, and each of us is one of those masterpieces crafted and created by God. As I’ve spent time in nature these past few weeks, I am reminded time and again of God’s love not just for me, but for the smallest of insects, the rocks, the trees, the soil, the animals. All are precious. All are loved. And for me, that was all I needed to know. It was all I needed to break the feedback loop – to know that I am connected to all of God’s creatures and I am loved. This week, may you find a way to break your own feedback loops, take back your joy, and hope in the God who loves you beyond measure. Try something new, read something you’ve never had time to read, go for a walk and notice the little things like the blueness of the sky, or the cleanness of the air, or the songs of the many types of birds. Remember your connectedness, despite being apart, and take courage that we are all together. The whole of creation is together. Peace be with you, Rev. Amy Ruhf
1 Comment
Sue Dempsey
5/8/2020 04:44:54 pm
Amy,
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